Tiffany and the City: Adventures of a Fat Shopaholic. Am I more then just my Weight?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

March 20, 2010 was my bestest friend, Chris’, 20th birthday. On the agenda for celebrating was going to Outback Steak House and meeting up with a friend of his at a bowling alley later that night. To simply say that March 20th was not my day would be a mass understatement. Clearly all of the fairies responsible for my good luck went on an impromptu holiday and forgot to inform me. 

For starters, people that claimed they would help fund my New York Workcation (yes I made that up) were slowly reducing the amount of help they would be willing to offer which left me endanger of canceling my trip all together.  I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but, when it comes to family members and friends mistreating me I am extremely sensitive so, of course I cried all day long. Chris didn’t show up until around nine o’clock p.m. to go to dinner and by then I’d finally pulled my self together. Well, not exactly; I was still quite broken internally but, I put on a believable facade. 

On the way out of my front door I was tipping (walking) in my new favorite boots. When I hit the first snow and rain covered step my right foot gave out from under me and sent me flying backward until I fell on my ass. The shorts that I’d paired over a pair of black leggings were completely ruined. Chris walked me back in the house so that I could change into a pair of denim colored leggings with his head cocked back laughing the whole time.

Dinner was rather uneventful. I enjoyed my medium well steak and the waitress didn’t charge me for my shrimp or my desert. I gleamed and radiated a bright smile when I saw the bill; maybe the evening was picking up after all. After dinner we navigated our way through the poorly lit chicago suburbs and found the bowling alley. I must say for it to be twelve o’clock in the morning the place was filled to the brim. At first glance you would have sworn it was gay night. The crowd was mostly gay men with straight men sprinkled here and there like the secret ingredient in your favorite meal. 

I searched through the blue and white lights bouncing off the bowling lanes and found our party at the far end of the building. Chris and I settled into the off white, slightly tarnished seats behind the bowling lane because we hadn’t planned to bowl. After he took his turn bowling a man of average height clad in fashions marketed to consumers half age sauntered over to us to have a seat. His brown tee shirt was a short, tight fit to allow space for his sagging blue jeans to expose the half of his ass covered in bright red underwear and his hair was covered with a du rag and red fitted cap.

Chris and I introduced ourselves first. The man greeted Chris and informed him that his name was Tony. When Tony turned to greet me he said, “Hey Precious”. Both Chris and I’s mouths flew open, we were stunned. Hearing those words was like having an outer body experience, the kind where not only can you not believe something is happening but, you wonder how sheer human common sense and discretion could allow something so dubious to enter someones mind, roll of their tongue and slide out of their mouth. I have absolutely nothing against Gabourey Sidibe or the fictional character Precious  but, look at this face

  now look at this face

 Do we look a like? I certainly don’t think so and chris didn’t either.
Had this Tony Character compared me to the beautiful actress Gabourey Sidibe then I  would have still been a bit thrown off but, I would have accepted the compliment none the less. I mean who would shy away from being compared to a beautiful actress but, there was something in the way he said it. It felt almost like he was dismissing me because of my weight because truly that is all me and “Precious” have in common. That made me think about a couple of things. For starters, no matter how good I look is that what it comes down to, my weight? Are people really looking at my pretty face? Are they admiring my personal style ? Or are they searching for the quickest lazy comparison so they know what box to put me in? I can’t answer any of those questions. So, let me know what you think or if you can relate.

Oh, here are some pictures from my evening out. 

Me and Chris posing together. 

Me letting that Tony fool have it.

Head band and Necklace: Forever 21
Earrings: Naki Muli 
Lace shirt: Thrifted 
Tank underneath: Lane Bryant 
Leggings: Torrid 
Jacket: Torrid 
Boots: Evans via Ebay 


Meagan A said...

OMG lol something really similar happened to me... 1st a guy who I've went to school with kept calling me Queen Latifah, and some other guy who I met walking down the street called me "light skinned Monique"... here's a pic of me!/photo.php?pid=55550966&id=1951580

lol like you said... while both of those women are beautiful, I don't resemble either of them.

also... love those boots :)

Candy9985 said...

I've had experiences like this before, I've been called Monique and Jill Scott( I don't even slightly resemble either of them) Unfortunately, I think there will always be ignorant people that will look straight through a bigger person and feel the need to relate them to the first "fat person" they can thing of . I think that there are people that can look at us and see beauty and style, but there are also a lot more people that will only see our weight .

Ps.cute outfit

Bethamint said...

Was he definitely calling you the character? Like, where I'm from people will say "aww you're so precious" because it was a word before it was a name, and it that context I think you're precious! Just putting that out there...

Tiffany said...

@bethamint At first we thought that was a possibility because he was in his 50's but then he added, "Didn.t that girl win a oscar or something?". So, after that we knew what the deal was. Also on the way out the bowling alley he said it again.

Jules said...

OMG! Ok First let me say I love the way you wrote your story it made me chuckle and I felt like I was right there with you. Secondly, you looked so cute- I really likeed your outfit. And lastly- What the hell is wrong with people? I can so relate to your frustration. I know what you mean about how often people only look at one thing and define a person based off of that. Instead of seeing people as the multidimensional creatures that we are.

Eight For A Wish said...

Grr, I wrote a huge post then Blogger killed it.

Sigh. Anyway, basically: He was stupid for saying that to someone he only knew for like 10 minutes, you are beautiful and I'm glad you're back. Perhaps he only knew of the film and not Gabby's name, perhaps he jumped to the conclusion that a pretty, black and fat girl looks like Precious just because they're pretty, fat and black. Either way, his behaviour was rude and inexcusable.

I hope you're feeling better now, it's horrible when you have a shitty night and someone comes along to make it worse.
Missed you loads,
Devon xx

Unknown said...

Hey Boo. You look fierce regardless. These people out here now-a-days are mostly about what you said, "putting people in a box" in a lazy manner. Trying to dismiss you?? he must not know you are the Queen. Rude old bitch. Ugh. I wish I was there. I would've butchQueen'd him down. UGH. RUDE!

Weesha said...

well, he's clearly an asshole. The next you see him, 'accidentally' kick him in the nuts. The jerk deserves it. But how awesome is it that you're an inspiration and run a blog that helps fight ignorant idiots like him? You're awesome girl, ignore the losers.

Célia Bing said...

I didnt read the whole post, maybe because english is not my mother tongue. But i want to say to you that your style is amazing i really love it and you seems to be a really clever and smart girl, with the rock and roll touch. No matter the weight you have it shows that you are a beautiful lady. And the ppl who dont see that are maybe good lookin at the first sight but sadly hugly inside. Keep your style you are F L Y and you deserve that blog for your great sense of fashion

& thx for all your beautiful smiles !