On April 29th I took more hits then Muhammad Ali when he fought George Forman. I didn’t succumb to defeat though. No, I didn’t become heavy weight campion of the world but, I made it through the day. I didn’t cry and I didn’t weep. I didn’t stop in my tracks, blow up balloons, and hang streamers for a pity party for one.
The days shenanigans started at college. On Tuesdays and Thursdays there is a couple that is enrolled in both my humanities and Biology classes. Every single time I walk into my first class (Humanities) they start laughing and looking in my direction. Usually I don’t pay it any attention; I just go on about doing the homework thats due or going to sleep (that class is boring and I can’t sleep at night). On April 29th I didn’t got to Humanities so, they didn’t get the chance to see me until I showed up late to biology. When I entered the class everyone was silently staring at there test and twiddling there pencils like just looking alone would inspire the answers to jump into there head. Even with the silence filling the room the couple couldn't making me their private spectacle. They laughed but, I didn’t bother confronting them; I set down and took my test.
I didn’t torture myself. I answered the questions I knew and guessed on ones I didn't. I turned in my test and left to go on break. The couple must have done the same because they left before I did. I stood outside the door waiting on my friends. While waiting I heard the voices of the couple. “Every time I see her I can’t help but laugh”, I heard the guy say. Then his girlfriend chimed in, “Yea, did u see her daisy dukes. Oh my God”. They were both laughing the whole time. Again I didn’t let it get to me. It was hard. I could have walked over there and asked them what their problem was but I didn’t.
When my friends came out of the classroom I told them about the incident and they immediately said things like, “Fuck em”, and “that bitch be bright red every day. she can’t tan”. I appreciated that they were willing to defend me but, I couldn’t bring myself to join in. This was college right? Even in high school I was not the type of person to respond to that kind of negativity. Ignorance is deeply rooted; nothing I could say in a short amount of time could reverse or erase that.
After break I walked back in the class room. The teacher was holding a discussion on immune systems and mentioned the medication that was aiding Magic Johnson in not contracting the AIDS disease. After the teacher made his comment one member the couple said, “He got AIDS cause he gay”. That moment reaffirmed for me that it’s not just me. I’m fat but, I’m not ugly; I’m beautiful. It just so happens that I encountered ignorance and that I can continue with my life contently.
What outfit caused all these problems? Well here it is in all it's plain, uneventful glory.
Hat - Urban Outfitters
Shirt - Asos
Black tank,shorts, brown cuff - Torrid
Earrings - naKiMuli
Leggings - Lane Bryant
Boots - Evans via Ebay
Bag - Urban Outfitters via The Ark Thrift Store
Watch, Bracelet, Bangles - All over the universe
After class I headed to the Ark Thrift Store for some much needed shopping therapy. The Ark received raved reviews from my best friend so, I decided to check it out. I hopped on the train and got off at the right stop. From there I used my iphone to lead down the right way on the six street intercetion. I navigate based on landmarks so, north, south, east, and west don’t mean anything to me. Which means I still went the wrong way. While walking down wrong street the high speed winds were blowing my hair all around my head and pushed my body forward. Then my foot hit a dislodged piece of sidewalk and that coupled with the wind sent me tumbling over.
Two women rushed out of a resturant to make sure I was ok while the homeless people on the corner laughed at me. One women said, “That wind ain’t no mutha fuckin joke” and a homeless man said, “Damn that wind knocked yo ass down”. Embrassment helped me make a quick recovery and despite my bleeding knee and finger I got up, walked pass the same people that watched me fall and continued hunting for the store. I found the store and while one thing bought didn’t fit when I got it home here are my finds.
Urban Outfitters! $8
Eddie Bauer $1.50
Oxfords! $8!
After the thrift store I walked back to the train and it was there I realized that I lost my Upass (Free transportation for college students). I looked for it for 15 minutes before the train attendant just let me on for free. That was nice but I still needed to take one more train and a bus to get home. So, I had to get off the train, dip into my savings and get money for transportation. Also, my sister put regular batteries in my battery charger so they busted and ruined my charger which meant I had to buy another one of those to. I'm trying to move so, every small unaccounted for purchase is a huge blow to my savings.
I did it. I dealt with everything that came my way, ignorance, falling on my face, and a unexpected financial situation. When things come your way how do deal with it? Do you shut down, cry and feel sorry for yourself or do pick yourself up and keep going?
While you ponder those question heres a playlist about combating with the haters.
